Thursday, 18 December 2014

9 Things That Take the Fun out of Christmas

1. Gift anxiety. While it's the thought that counts, don't fall into the trap of buying something you would like to receive - your Dad probably won't appreciate that seasonal edition of Yankee Candle wax tarts.

2. Seasonal Illnesses. The greatest joy of December is having to share your train carriage with a great many individuals that have not yet discovered that it is impolite, as well as pretty disgusting, to cough without putting their hands over their mouth. Combine that with a hefty dose of festive snogging at the Office Christmas party and you've got a recipe for festive flu. 

3. Starbucks Overhype. The prospect of a festive coffee is possibly the only thing worth thinking about. That is, until you're greeted with a drink that tastes very much like ordinary coffee mixed with scrambled egg...but wait, this one is served in a RED cup. Oh, and they've spelt your name wrong.

4. Festive Arguments. When I was a child, my parents used to have annual disagreements over how to put up the Christmas tree. Now I'm an adult, I too have arguments with my boyfriend on how to put up the Christmas tree. Surely it's all part of the fun, no?

5. Post Office queues. Of course, there is nothing I like better than standing in an endless parade of panicked people as they quibble and debate over parcel tape and jiffy bags. How very Christmassy.

6. Seeing Cliff Richard's face EVERYWHERE. That, and the seasonal treat of 'The Millennium Prayer'. UGH.

7. Public Transport. Make a journey on Christmas Eve and far from the joy-filled Richard Curtis scenes you imagine, you'll be faced with a sweat-drenched eternity and a stranger's elbow in your face.

8. Gingerbread House Fails. We've all dreamed of building a full-scale model of Hogwarts or constructing a dreamy cottage Pinterest would be proud of. Instead, it's more likely to resemble a soggy mound of dough haphazardly concealed in watery icing. Delicious. 

9. Boxing Day Sales. After getting yourself in a turkey and stuffing-based coma on Christmas Day, is there anything worse than heading out at the crack of dawn to bag yourself a half price microwave? Forget the sales and spend the day in your pyjamas instead - better for your bank balance and your sanity. 

Is there anything that makes you feel less than Christmassy? Let me know.